Well I made it! Quite how I will never know....but rather similarly to the pro-riders it seems it was largely thanks to a heavy reliance on drugs, not wanting to let my sponsors down, and that I had bragged to far too many girls to back out at any stage.
Since climbing the Tourmalet for the last time on stage 17 the tour has slowly wound down. Distances have got shorter, the terrain has got flatter and the pace has got slower. I have to admit to having a mixture of feelings as we neared Paris. Joy and relief were met with a sense of loss and apprehension. The questions that were fired back and forth throughout the peleton seemed to summarise what we were all feeling...What am I going to do on Monday? How do you top this?
I am now back in London and I don’t like it.
I keep wanting to fill up imaginary water-bottles and my eyes our peeled searching for fluorescent arrow signs that have been guiding me for the last three weeks. My legs are tingling with a sense of unease and my bum cant seem to get comfy on my soft office chair.
Does Lance Armstrong go to a shrink post tour? Or is that why he keeps coming back?
The only solace has come from the enormous amount of congratulations I have received, the vast amounts of guilt-free alcohol I have consumed, and the knowledge that I don’t have to squeeze into festering lycra at 6 in the morning.
There is always a rather excessive use of the phrase ‘life-changing experience’. This was not the birth of a child, a loss of a limb or a win at the lottery. But it has started a no doubt life-long fascination with the Tour, a new understanding of quite how incredibly tough these pro-cyclists are, and the knowledge that my pain-threshold is much higher than I ever thought it was.
Will I ever be getting on a bike again? Of course...I have a race on Sunday. Reading is not quite the Pyrenees but I can’t help myself.
Thursday, 15 July 2010
Last Tango in Paris
The finish line is getting ever closer and I finally have some time on my hands! The last two stages are totally flat and both about 50km each. The penultimate stage for the Tour is set aside as a Time Trial – which if the tour leaders are in a battle, can be the most important stage of the tour. I was not taking any chances and armed with my very fetching skin suit (£2.50 on eBay in case you wanted one), alot of kitchen foil and sellotape...Rick Gradidge and I came down to breakfast and announced our intentions.
Not a particularly great look...but it got alot of hoots of approval from the locals and we clearly looked like pro's....or Noddy and Big Ears on holiday!
The Time Trial ended with a very nice boozy lunch, and then we all hopped onto a train to take us up to the outskirts of Paris for the final glory ride into the city center the next day.
I don’t think I have ever enjoyed cycling in a built up area so much. The tension mounted the closer we got to crossing the finish line at the Eiffel Tower. Photos were taken at every opportunity...including my second lap of the Arc d’Triumph. Where a rather large and aggressive lorry reminded me that this was not a place to be taking snap shots.
Not a particularly great look...but it got alot of hoots of approval from the locals and we clearly looked like pro's....or Noddy and Big Ears on holiday!
The Time Trial ended with a very nice boozy lunch, and then we all hopped onto a train to take us up to the outskirts of Paris for the final glory ride into the city center the next day.
I don’t think I have ever enjoyed cycling in a built up area so much. The tension mounted the closer we got to crossing the finish line at the Eiffel Tower. Photos were taken at every opportunity...including my second lap of the Arc d’Triumph. Where a rather large and aggressive lorry reminded me that this was not a place to be taking snap shots.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Once more into the breach....
Today we had our second rest day....and one that could not have been more welcome. The last three days have been incredibly tough as we entered into the Pyrenees and have just got tougher.
Yesterday was a day I will never forget. I basically climbed half the height of Everest...4,600 metres in 196km, in scenery that was quite unbelievably beautiful and became increasingly so with every pedal stroke. We seemed to climb and climb from just 3km out of our hotel. We had two category 1 climbs before noon which were tough enough but they were merely a warm up before the big one....and the one that the tour had been culminating towards.
The Col du Tourmalet
A Category HC (uncategorized....ie off the scale) this is 17km of constant uphill that varies in 8 to 12% and takes us up to 2115m above sea level. The view from the top was beyond spectacular and made doubly so by the effort of getting there. It was also the first day since stage 2 that I haven’t been in pain with my knees. For some reason climbing seems to help them and they have eased in the last couple of days and it has been my strongest ride todate.....joy!!
Photos don’t really do this place justice but thankfully (am I really saying this?) we are going back tomorrow for the final Pyrenean stage and this years Etape stage. The Tourmalet climb from the other side....I cant wait!
Yesterday was a day I will never forget. I basically climbed half the height of Everest...4,600 metres in 196km, in scenery that was quite unbelievably beautiful and became increasingly so with every pedal stroke. We seemed to climb and climb from just 3km out of our hotel. We had two category 1 climbs before noon which were tough enough but they were merely a warm up before the big one....and the one that the tour had been culminating towards.
The Col du Tourmalet
A Category HC (uncategorized....ie off the scale) this is 17km of constant uphill that varies in 8 to 12% and takes us up to 2115m above sea level. The view from the top was beyond spectacular and made doubly so by the effort of getting there. It was also the first day since stage 2 that I haven’t been in pain with my knees. For some reason climbing seems to help them and they have eased in the last couple of days and it has been my strongest ride todate.....joy!!
Photos don’t really do this place justice but thankfully (am I really saying this?) we are going back tomorrow for the final Pyrenean stage and this years Etape stage. The Tourmalet climb from the other side....I cant wait!
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Jake the Peg
So sorry still having very little personal admin time to write anything constructive or informative.
That being said...I have now made it to the Pyreenees. Just...I am now known as Jake the Peg on the tour as a result of my constant hobbling. Currently carrying the following..
Inflamed achilles on left foot...ouch
Misaligned platella tracking on left knee...oh dear god
Sores on back of left knee as a result of knee support... drugs please
Constant muscle spasm in right leg's inner quad as a result of trying to protect all of the above by using right leg more. Big mistake....very difficult to cycle with one leg!
Jake the Peg indeed. Still going though...2700km done...just under a thousand to go!
Much more interesting and informative blog updates from the tour can be found at http://www.tourdeforce.org.uk/blog/
That being said...I have now made it to the Pyreenees. Just...I am now known as Jake the Peg on the tour as a result of my constant hobbling. Currently carrying the following..
Inflamed achilles on left foot...ouch
Misaligned platella tracking on left knee...oh dear god
Sores on back of left knee as a result of knee support... drugs please
Constant muscle spasm in right leg's inner quad as a result of trying to protect all of the above by using right leg more. Big mistake....very difficult to cycle with one leg!
Jake the Peg indeed. Still going though...2700km done...just under a thousand to go!
Much more interesting and informative blog updates from the tour can be found at http://www.tourdeforce.org.uk/blog/
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Je suis désolé
Apologies to the no doubt thousands of fans who are following the blog and are upset not to be receiving daily updates on my progress. I thought it would be fairly easy to write a few things at the end of each day as I retire for the night. But it is ridiculous how little time we have to organise and get ready for the next day. I simply have not had a chance.
An average day consists of getting in at about 7-8 in the evening, depending on the length of the ride and severity of the terrain and weather. I then find my room...legs up in the air to drain the lactic acid from the muscles...drink my recovery shake....shower (cold on the legs)...eat at 8.30...briefing for the next day at 9.30. Then I have to try and fix any mechanical and physical issues (lots at the moment) before usually getting into bed at about 10.30 .... to get up the next day usually at about 6.30 or earlier depending on if we have a coach transfer to take us to the next stage.
Personal time is very limiting and you have to make the most of it. I had been toying with the idea of shaving my legs for quite some time....quite simply as an excuse to lady-boy it up but also to try and look the part. But i could never quite believe the stories that is was for speed, for ease of applying plasters on injuries, and so on. It was only after my first massage that the true reason became apparent and that it is very simply much easier, and less painful, to have no hair when you are being rubbed down at the end of the day. Razor in hand I took the plunge and began shaving after getting into my room earlier after stage 4. It was only after 45 minutes and only one leg shaved that I realised I had to stop otherwise I would miss supper. Its been nearly three days and I still haven’t had a chance to shave the other leg....much to the hilarity of the rest of the peleton.
Please bear with me I will be trying to keep a report on the stages....I am still alive and pedalling. And I have managed to reach the rest day in Morzine (day 8).....but only just (more on that later). Today was supposed to be a chance to relax and do personal admin . But it started very badly when it was discovered that the very nice hotel we were booked into had been broken into and 12 peoples bikes had been stolen. Knowing my luck I walked down into the room where they had been locked fully expecting Madonna not to be there. Unbelievably there she was in all her glory. A huge relief but also huge frustration felt for all those whose bikes had been knicked.....some of which had only just joined the tour and hadn’t even used them yet.
The day subsequently turned into a bit of an admin nightmare as everyone was frantically trying to source or loan bits of kit for tomorrows stage. That being said I did manage to do my washing, shave my other leg, and watch yet another classic English performance....why do i bother? I had more fun watching my pants in the dryer.
More updates to follow soon....I hope!
An average day consists of getting in at about 7-8 in the evening, depending on the length of the ride and severity of the terrain and weather. I then find my room...legs up in the air to drain the lactic acid from the muscles...drink my recovery shake....shower (cold on the legs)...eat at 8.30...briefing for the next day at 9.30. Then I have to try and fix any mechanical and physical issues (lots at the moment) before usually getting into bed at about 10.30 .... to get up the next day usually at about 6.30 or earlier depending on if we have a coach transfer to take us to the next stage.
Personal time is very limiting and you have to make the most of it. I had been toying with the idea of shaving my legs for quite some time....quite simply as an excuse to lady-boy it up but also to try and look the part. But i could never quite believe the stories that is was for speed, for ease of applying plasters on injuries, and so on. It was only after my first massage that the true reason became apparent and that it is very simply much easier, and less painful, to have no hair when you are being rubbed down at the end of the day. Razor in hand I took the plunge and began shaving after getting into my room earlier after stage 4. It was only after 45 minutes and only one leg shaved that I realised I had to stop otherwise I would miss supper. Its been nearly three days and I still haven’t had a chance to shave the other leg....much to the hilarity of the rest of the peleton.
Please bear with me I will be trying to keep a report on the stages....I am still alive and pedalling. And I have managed to reach the rest day in Morzine (day 8).....but only just (more on that later). Today was supposed to be a chance to relax and do personal admin . But it started very badly when it was discovered that the very nice hotel we were booked into had been broken into and 12 peoples bikes had been stolen. Knowing my luck I walked down into the room where they had been locked fully expecting Madonna not to be there. Unbelievably there she was in all her glory. A huge relief but also huge frustration felt for all those whose bikes had been knicked.....some of which had only just joined the tour and hadn’t even used them yet.
The day subsequently turned into a bit of an admin nightmare as everyone was frantically trying to source or loan bits of kit for tomorrows stage. That being said I did manage to do my washing, shave my other leg, and watch yet another classic English performance....why do i bother? I had more fun watching my pants in the dryer.
More updates to follow soon....I hope!
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Shaken to the core
Stage 3 - Wanze – Arenberg - 220 km
We were up at the crack of dawn this morning in order transfer across to the start of the next stage by bus. The modern eco-friendly hotel that had been a major plus point at the end of a very hard day yesterday, sadly proved not be very ‘washing-friendly’. All my hard work last night in hand cleaning my kit for the next day was still in a soggy mess in the bathroom.
I should have put it on regardless, as after an hour-long transfer, we started stage 3 in the pouring rain. Phil, the tour leader, and legendary weather forecasting was spot-off yet again...even Michael Fish got it right occasionally?. But we were now all quite hardened to a bit of drizzle from the last two days and we knew the real test would be much later in the day with the infamous ‘Pavé’ sections.
Pavé – is basically cobbled farm-track that varies between a nightmare and a disaster to cycle on. Rumour has it, from all the peleton chat that takes place throughout the day (usually in short sharp breathes) , that the entire Tour de France could be lost for some riders by just this small 16km style of road. Crashes are highly likely and mechanical failure a given as the entire peleton race through these very narrow tracks at break-neck speed.
After some rather nice undulating hills we duly arrived at our first 300m section of Pavé. To see it in the flesh was an eye-opener...to cycle on it was eye-watering on the nether regions to say the least. As the day progressed the sections of Pavé got longer and more jarring on every part of our body and bikes. The longest section of over 3km was summed up best by Davinia, one of the two girls attempting the entire Tour.
‘I used to be a girl...but now I am not so sure’.
We arrived back to the hotel quite soon after the last section... shaken to the core and only missing the odd filling... but with stage 3 complete.
My already enormous respect for these pro-riders only continues to grow!
We were up at the crack of dawn this morning in order transfer across to the start of the next stage by bus. The modern eco-friendly hotel that had been a major plus point at the end of a very hard day yesterday, sadly proved not be very ‘washing-friendly’. All my hard work last night in hand cleaning my kit for the next day was still in a soggy mess in the bathroom.
I should have put it on regardless, as after an hour-long transfer, we started stage 3 in the pouring rain. Phil, the tour leader, and legendary weather forecasting was spot-off yet again...even Michael Fish got it right occasionally?. But we were now all quite hardened to a bit of drizzle from the last two days and we knew the real test would be much later in the day with the infamous ‘Pavé’ sections.
Pavé – is basically cobbled farm-track that varies between a nightmare and a disaster to cycle on. Rumour has it, from all the peleton chat that takes place throughout the day (usually in short sharp breathes) , that the entire Tour de France could be lost for some riders by just this small 16km style of road. Crashes are highly likely and mechanical failure a given as the entire peleton race through these very narrow tracks at break-neck speed.
After some rather nice undulating hills we duly arrived at our first 300m section of Pavé. To see it in the flesh was an eye-opener...to cycle on it was eye-watering on the nether regions to say the least. As the day progressed the sections of Pavé got longer and more jarring on every part of our body and bikes. The longest section of over 3km was summed up best by Davinia, one of the two girls attempting the entire Tour.
‘I used to be a girl...but now I am not so sure’.
We arrived back to the hotel quite soon after the last section... shaken to the core and only missing the odd filling... but with stage 3 complete.
My already enormous respect for these pro-riders only continues to grow!
Dont follow the pups!
Stage 2 - Brussels – Spa - 212km
I woke up with an instant check to the flexibility of my knee...nothing ...nothing atall. Perhaps I was imagining it yesterday when so much was at stake. My achilles tendon however was definitely hurting like hell. Doctor Steve, the tour medic (who was already being nicknamed Doctor Death Wish on account of his colour blindness with traffic lights), gave me an anti-inflammatory spray and a pill and said to take it easy.
This was not a day to be taking it easy though... one of the longest stages with our first major category climbs. After a lovely spin through Brussels, which that early on a Sunday morning was totally empty, we headed out into the Belgian countryside. The weather was still pretty miserable with on/off drizzle.
As the day progressed the undulating countryside peaked and troughed in increasing intensity. I did what I usually did and started way too quickly. The ‘young pups’ as they were known, four very fit friends all about 27 years old, had decided to lead off at quite a pace after the first drink stop, and I tagged along with them. Big error and i paid for it later...the last few hills were 7-10% gradients and went on and on.
One hill however was in parts a 22% gradient and led up to a tribute to the Belgian Eddie Merczkx. Still alive today he is one of the worlds cycling greats. This particular hill was where he used to ‘attack’ the other riders.... it seemed to work...he won the Tour de France 5 times!
One more brutal climb later we arrived to a very comfortable and modern eco-friendly hotel before it got too dark....it had been by far one of my longest days in the saddle!
I woke up with an instant check to the flexibility of my knee...nothing ...nothing atall. Perhaps I was imagining it yesterday when so much was at stake. My achilles tendon however was definitely hurting like hell. Doctor Steve, the tour medic (who was already being nicknamed Doctor Death Wish on account of his colour blindness with traffic lights), gave me an anti-inflammatory spray and a pill and said to take it easy.
This was not a day to be taking it easy though... one of the longest stages with our first major category climbs. After a lovely spin through Brussels, which that early on a Sunday morning was totally empty, we headed out into the Belgian countryside. The weather was still pretty miserable with on/off drizzle.
As the day progressed the undulating countryside peaked and troughed in increasing intensity. I did what I usually did and started way too quickly. The ‘young pups’ as they were known, four very fit friends all about 27 years old, had decided to lead off at quite a pace after the first drink stop, and I tagged along with them. Big error and i paid for it later...the last few hills were 7-10% gradients and went on and on.
One hill however was in parts a 22% gradient and led up to a tribute to the Belgian Eddie Merczkx. Still alive today he is one of the worlds cycling greats. This particular hill was where he used to ‘attack’ the other riders.... it seemed to work...he won the Tour de France 5 times!
One more brutal climb later we arrived to a very comfortable and modern eco-friendly hotel before it got too dark....it had been by far one of my longest days in the saddle!
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